You are a pigeon toed whore.

You are NOT allowed to call the shots at ANY sleepover if you are the one who falls asleep first. It’s the universal fucking rule that if you fall asleep first, people are GOING to fuck with you.

FIRST of all,
— I like bitching about my life as much as the next person does. And I like talking about sex too. But when that is literally the only thing you EVER have to contribute to ANY conversation… You need to reevaluate your life.

SECOND,
— YOU CANNOT bad mouth about people ESPECIALLY when you’re A) in a group of theatre people B) in a group of heavily dynamic friendships; and C) WHEN YOU HAVE TO BE RETARDED NOT TO KNOW IT’S GOING TO GET AROUND TO WHOEVER YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.

THIRD,
— You’re pigeon toed. ‘Nuff fuckin said.

FOURTH,
— YOU’RE PIGEON TOED.

FIFTH,
— If I am wasted, I amgoing to be loud and probably cause a ruckus in your roommate’s bed. It was YOU who directly said, “I don’t drink withthose people. They don’t know how to have fun.” FUCK YOU BITCH. I’m sorry you don’t know how to have a fucking good time and enjoy life.

My story for you this evening is of this Pigeon-toed slunt who does not enjoy ANYONE HERE’S company. This attractive young man has had a drink or 8. And it’s like 130am… A pretty reasonable hour to still be awake, if you ask Nick or I. So. I’m in her roommates bed, making fart noises with my mouth and taking dirty pictures with her in the other room…. ALONG COMES THIS BITCH, “So… Are you guys gonna be up much longer? Cause I’m gonna go sleep in my car if so.”

.

..

FUCK YOU, YOU CUNT! UGH.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to punch a girl in the face more in my entire life.

Just because you’ll never be as pretty as us, does not mean you’re allowed to SHIT on my parade. Ass.


Eternally Trapped - T

Dating for two days~

  • Them: Omg you're so perfect babe. Ily so much we'll be together forever.
  • Me: *unfriend, block, report, delete facebook, blow-up computer, jump off bridge*

#thatmomentwhen

I hate everything in the world, but most of all - I hate creepy, teethless, fat guys in Starbucks who are creepily and blatantly listening to your conversations. THEN, decides to take it upon himself to defend the questionable-area-I’m-in’s views on professional theatre. Do I think the work I’m doing this summer is professional? Absolutely not. Do I care about anyone-around-here’s opinion of the work I’m doing? With very few exceptions, absolutely not.

Direct quote from our conversation and his rebuttal —
"I think people around here have very skewed ideas of what professional theatre is…" - Us

"Maybe it’s your all’s view on professional theatre that’s skewed… (then proceeds to inform us that he used to work at this theatre and believes we will learn more about professional theatre in the time we’re here than working anywhere else for 10 years…)” - Him

Here’s the deal. If I thought that maybe you had an inkling of anything that I’m talking about, or what professional theatre actually IS, and didn’t STILL live here, then maybe… MAYBE I would take your opinion into consideration. However, you weigh probably upwards of 300 lbs, have no teeth, are sitting in the only Starbucks around for 30+ miles, and have 3 computers in front of you… I’m pretty sure my knowledge outweighs yours. Sorryboutya.

I HATE PEOPLE. Why would ANYONE think it’s okay to butt in on a GROUP OF COMPLETE STRANGERS and think that you’re in the right? You are not sir. And you are aesthetically HORRENDOUS.

Eternally Trapped (but only here for 38 more days) - T

Mmmhmm

Character Actress-noun- Talented women often who are often too fat, short, or quirky to be considered ingenues. Due to their physical shortcomings, character actresses often exhibit great acting tactics and multi-octave belting skills. Sadly, a character actress will almost never fall in love onstage because, as we all know, only pretty people have dreams and genitalia.
"I’m fine with being considered a character actress. No, really, I am. Honestly."

[ http://mtdictionary.blogspot.com/ ]

Eternally trapped - T

Shout Out to Cameron Berne!!

Prompted by an anony statement — "Please don’t reblog porn. I’m an offended follower, I like your funny posts but and I sometimes watch porn too; but I didn’t came to tumblr to see porn. It’s aggressive towards sensitive people." bernedownthehouse replies:

"This is my blog and I control the content on it. I’m sorry you didn’t like the porn I posted but that does occasionally happen and I’m not apologizing for posting it. Last night I posted a picture of two naked men but that didn’t seem to bother you… just the two women scissoring. Interesting. I’m assuming that means you have a problem with the way porn depicts women, etc. It’s called supply and demand: when there is a demand for porn featuring unattractive people, they’ll make it. I know it’s out there. But the general public views porn as a fantasy, hence the hot girls and guys. Who wants their fantasy to look more like reality?

Regardless, I love scissoring and I’m sorry if this is a deal breaker for you but tumblr exists so I can blog the things I like. If I see a picture I dont like, I dont blog it. If a blog posts a lot of things that don’t correlate with my interests, I unfollow them. If that means you have to unfollow me then that sucks but maybe, just maybe, the price of admission to follow my blog is that occasionally you have to look at something and chuckle and shake your head and say ‘that cameron is so weird’ as you scroll down so you only see the naked women for 2 seconds.

And on a personal note, please do not be the type of person that claims something offends them on the internet. The joke of tumblr is that everyone is so easily offended by everything and you are being so stereotypical it’s embarrassing. Knock it the fuck off. Sensitive people don’t deserve to use the internet.”

**Everyone needs to follow bernedownthehouse right now. This beautiful man so eloquently summed up everything we could possibly strive to say about blogging. Shout out to Cameron for fighting the good fight and being excellent!!

Eternally Trapped - TN

So. I really like to pride myself on not being that BFA kid who refuses to do tech things. In fact, I like to get my hands dirty now and then. However. This is a form of ugly I don’t think I’ve ever encountered. Not only is this bitch ugly. She has a mullet, saggy boobs, a beer belly, no ass, wears grandma jeans, has that stereotypical hick accent, and probably hasn’t brushed her teeth since the 80’s. I was assigned to work on costumes today. Which is exciting, because I know how a costume shop should be run… and I like clothes. However, I get to my 1130 call… to find no one there… so me and the girls with me decide to go ahead and start pulling things. Finally at 1, Christina shows up and is appalled that we’ve started without her. One of the girls was given instructions of what he wanted from the director, so we knew what we were doing and began to explain this to her… But she throws everything down and screams, “I AM THE COSTUME DESIGNER. Rex should have come to ME and told me this!” Then storms off. Finally we find her in one of the various rooms the costumes are scattered in… to find her looking at pants… doing nothing productive. One thing that will make me hate you even more than if you’re rude and ugly, is if you’re rude, ugly and lazy. Note. This is the same woman who watched me paint a backdrop from the audience while eating a cheeseburger and yelling at me that I missed a spot. THE SAME FUCKING WOMAN. If you can call her that… I’m pretty sure she’s a hermaphrodite. I HATE incompetent people. Fuck you all.
Eternally Trapped - T

So. I really like to pride myself on not being that BFA kid who refuses to do tech things. In fact, I like to get my hands dirty now and then. However. This is a form of ugly I don’t think I’ve ever encountered. Not only is this bitch ugly. She has a mullet, saggy boobs, a beer belly, no ass, wears grandma jeans, has that stereotypical hick accent, and probably hasn’t brushed her teeth since the 80’s.

I was assigned to work on costumes today. Which is exciting, because I know how a costume shop should be run… and I like clothes. However, I get to my 1130 call… to find no one there… so me and the girls with me decide to go ahead and start pulling things. Finally at 1, Christina shows up and is appalled that we’ve started without her. One of the girls was given instructions of what he wanted from the director, so we knew what we were doing and began to explain this to her… But she throws everything down and screams, “I AM THE COSTUME DESIGNER. Rex should have come to ME and told me this!” Then storms off. Finally we find her in one of the various rooms the costumes are scattered in… to find her looking at pants… doing nothing productive. One thing that will make me hate you even more than if you’re rude and ugly, is if you’re rude, ugly and lazy.

Note. This is the same woman who watched me paint a backdrop from the audience while eating a cheeseburger and yelling at me that I missed a spot. THE SAME FUCKING WOMAN. If you can call her that… I’m pretty sure she’s a hermaphrodite. I HATE incompetent people. Fuck you all.


Eternally Trapped - T

Drunk Games are WAY better than Hunger Games.” - Daniel Tosh

THOUGH NOTHING BEATS HARRY POTTER

Eternally Trapped - N